I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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