Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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