took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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