I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
