p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
