She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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