You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
