You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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