I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
