i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
