google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
