ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
