I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
