Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
