honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
