i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just pee around me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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