Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize