The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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