He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
