ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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