actually, I'm a sock model
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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