Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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