i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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