Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
