I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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