Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
