I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
