If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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