4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
