Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
