im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
