She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
