I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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