who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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