Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i dont even know how to be here
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
