We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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