found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize