Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
