Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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