I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
When are your genitals available?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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