I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
