i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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