You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I party with great urgency now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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