I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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