biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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