I think my vagina is haunted
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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