only if we run a train.
done.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
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He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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