Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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