I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
