im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
