mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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