Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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