I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
smell my finger.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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