I didn't shave. On purpose
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
