I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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