Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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