69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
