Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
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then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
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You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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